Signs He Doesn’t Want You Sexually, I Will Tell You Why And What To Do

No one likes feeling unloved in a relationship, and it can be really sad when you start thinking that he might not want you. It can make you feel bad about yourself, and you might wonder if you did something wrong. I get how this feels.

Sometimes, figuring out his thinking is tough because, unlike girls, guys don’t always show their feelings directly. They might keep things low-key and be harder to understand. But don’t worry; you can still pick up on some signs. Here are signs that he doesn’t want you sexually, so you can recognize if there’s a real issue. Once you notice a problem, we’ll give you some suggestions on how to make things better. Let’s get into it!

17 Possible Signs That He Doesn’t Want You Sexually 

How do you know when a man doesn’t want you? If he used to be affectionate or would often initiate intimacy, but now he’s gradually or suddenly stopped, it could mean losing interest in the romantic aspect. 

Instead of avoiding the issue, you can look for clear signs that he might not be interested in a sexual way. When you notice a few of these signs, it’s a signal that it’s time to talk about the problem.

1. There are issues in your relationship (financial, argument, etc.)

You might notice more arguments or less talking. He’s getting upset over small things that didn’t bother him before. He’s not showing as much physical affection or doing those thoughtful little things he used to, like texting you throughout the day. 

Another possible reason could be disagreements about money, as men can be sensitive about financial matters when talking with women. Keep an eye on this issue, too.

2. He doesn’t talk or mention sex

Usually, sex is an important part of a relationship, and both partners like discussing it, it show that he want you badly sexually. So, if you notice he dodges the topic, gives unclear answers, or changes the subject, it might mean he’s not as interested. 

For example, you send him a sexy meme, and he doesn’t respond; you ask about having sex later, and he starts talking about dinner plans; you bring up one of his favorite fantasies, and he says, “Not now.” These can be signs he’s not as into it as before.

3. He doesn’t engage in sexual intimacy

Is your partner acting distant? Does he avoid kissing, cuddling, eye contact, or physical touch? If he’s steering clear of sex, it can be painful, especially if it used to be a significant part of your relationship. Avoiding intimacy could indicate something more going on. Maybe he’s stressed, tired, or dealing with low self-esteem.

4. He touches you less than before

One clear sign he might not be into you sexually is if he avoids touching you. If he’s not interested, he might avoid physical contact or come up with excuses to avoid being close. If you see that he’s not touching you as often as before, it could mean he’s losing interest. 

He might not want to hold your hand, give you a hug, or cuddle anymore. A lack of physical affection like this clearly signals that he’s not interested in being intimate with you.

5. He’s busy all the time

He might be stressed out, which could affect his desire for intimacy. If he’s super busy, that stress could mess with his libido. Even when he’s not busy, stress can still negatively impact him. It’s the kind of issue you should discuss, even if it’s probably not permanent. 

After all, for most couples, being close is important! For instance, when he’s going to work early/staying late, bringing work home, or picking up a new hobby that eats up his free time, these could be signs of stress affecting his interest in intimacy.

6. When sex feels forced on him 

Another sign he might not want you sexually is when being intimate feels forced. He could appear distracted, like he’s not fully there with you, or the whole experience might be dull. After the fun times, he skips the pillow talk and goes straight to sleep. This is something worth considering.

When he’s genuinely attracted to you, you’ll sense the chemistry, and he’ll try to make you happy. But if that attraction fades, you won’t feel that effort anymore. It’s like the enthusiasm is gone.

7. He doesn’t call you by a nickname or pet name

When your husband is into you romantically, he might use cute nicknames like “baby” or “sweetie.” If he stops using these and starts calling you names he’d use for a friend or brother, like “dude” or just your name, it’s a clear sign that something might be wrong. 

8. He makes eye contact with you less

Avoiding eye contact might suggest he’s not feeling open to you. Making eye contact is a way of showing you’re open and ready to communicate. If he’s unwilling to look you in the eyes, it could mean he’s hiding something or not feeling comfortable with you anymore. 

For instance, when you’re talking, he looks down or away; when you enter the room, he gets absorbed in his phone; or he pretends to be interested in something to avoid looking at you.

9. He always seems irritated with you

It might feel like he’s constantly annoyed when he’s not into you anymore. Even small things like leaving dishes in the sink can trigger snide remarks from him. The intimacy you’re experiencing has shifted in a way that feels unfamiliar to you.

When you’re intimate, he’s rushing to finish quickly, skipping oral sex and foreplay, and not making the usual sounds or moves. As I mentioned about eye contact, he might avoid looking at you during intimate moments.

10. He says no when you try to have sex

He avoids getting physical when you make a move. Even if you’re usually the one to initiate intimacy more often, if he keeps turning you down, it’s natural to feel upset and rejected. Maybe he’s just not into sex right now for some reason, or it could be that he’s not attracted to you anymore. 

For instance, when you bring up having sex, he says, “Not tonight,” or when you dress up in lingerie and lie on the bed, he goes into the next room to watch TV.

11. He finds reasons to fight with you

As he’s picking fights over little things all the time, that’s a major sign he might not be interested in you sexually. Even when things seem fine, he’ll start an argument, like what you made for dinner or the TV show you picked. He’s doing it intentionally to make a distance, so there’s no chance for a sweet or intimate moment between you two. 

12. He’s not physically affectionate

When he’s emotionally distant, your connection loses its closeness. Physical closeness involves more than just sex – it’s about non-sexual touch that makes you feel loved and attractive. 

The time physical affection fades, it can leave you feeling rejected and lonely. For instance, he might not hug or kiss you when you are coming or going, avoid touching you, or sit far away when you’re alone.

13. He avoids to spend time alone with you

If he constantly makes excuses to avoid spending time alone with you, it indicates that he’s not interested in a romantic relationship. When someone genuinely likes you, they seek opportunities to be close and connect. 

If he’s actively avoiding one-on-one time, he’s signaling his lack of interest, likely hoping to sidestep a direct rejection. Even if he may think he’s being considerate, it’s crucial to recognize it as a rejection. 

14. He deflects your sexual overtures

You’ve tried to be direct about your feelings in a romantic way and he’s not responding, it means he’s either not interested or not available, and in either case, the result is the same—he’s not into it. 

If a guy is truly interested in a romantic way, he would welcome your advances. If he doesn’t, it’s unfortunately a clear sign of rejection.

15. He doesn’t notice positive changes in you 

The moment he doesn’t seem to notice your change, like your hair or style, could mean he’s not as interested as before. When someone is really into you, they usually know these trivial changes and mention them. 

If your efforts to look good and attractive aren’t getting noticed, it’s a sign he might have lost attraction. It’s possible he’s become distant and doesn’t see you or appreciate the changes you’ve made.

16. He sleeps at a different time than you 

When your partner starts going to bed at different times than usual, it might mean he’s not interested in being close to you, especially if you usually go to bed together. This could mean he will sleep way earlier than normal or stay up late, waiting for you to fall asleep before he gets into bed. It’s a sign he may not want to be intimate with you.

17. He’s making sexist comments about your looks

If he’s not interested in being intimate with you, he might say hurtful things about how you look. He could directly tell you that you’ve changed or suggest that you should hit the gym. Or he might indirectly hint that he wishes you looked like someone else or point out a person he finds more attractive than you.

Why He May Doesn’t Want You Sexually 

1. Naturally, a low sex drive

If your boyfriend isn’t very into sex, he might just feel more at ease delaying it now that you’re in a stable relationship. It could be that he naturally has a low interest in sex, or he might fall somewhere on the asexuality spectrum. 

Being asexual doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like sex; many asexual individuals have and enjoy sex based on their preferences.

2. There are problems in your relationship 

If you and your boyfriend have been arguing a lot or stuck on one issue, his lack of interest in sex might be linked to the relationship not being so strong. He could be waiting for things to improve. 

When facing problems, it’s crucial to communicate. Talk calmly with him, avoid discussing it when you’re tired or upset, and consider a couples’ counselor for effective communication.

3. Boredom

If you and your boyfriend have been together for a while, he might just need some excitement in the bedroom to reignite interest, like a new sex-bucket list . It’s common for couples to fall into routines, and it’s nobody’s fault. If you notice one person always initiates, switch it up for a fun change.

4. He lost his attraction to you

It’s not your fault at all. You know how hurtful it can be if you’ve been through this. One minute, you’re really into someone, and then suddenly, all the attraction fades away. It’s a real thing that can happen. The issue is that you might stop being attracted to someone sexually but still love them. Many guys struggle to end things, so they stay even if they’re not interested in sex.

Sometimes, it can be tough to face the reality that your husband might be cheating on you. While I don’t want to sound negative, it’s important to consider the possibility that he may be attracted to another woman.

5. He lacks confidence in the bedroom

It happens. Some guys can’t perform because they’re anxious about not satisfying their partner. Unlike other reasons, this one might be fixable if you’re open to discussing it.

6. His hormones were affected by antidepressants or other medications

Some medications, like birth control for women or antidepressants for men, can lower libido. If he’s on meds and not initiating sex, it’s worth seeing a doctor to check if this could be the issue.

What Should You Do If He Doesn’t Want You Sexually

1. Discuss what’s going on in your marriage life

If your partner is stressed or going through a tough time in other parts of their life, chat with them about it. Be there to support them as they deal with whatever’s going on or help them find the support they need.

During this period, keep the conversation about intimacy open, but remember they might be dealing with a lot. Be supportive and understanding, and avoid pressuring them.

If you bravely admit you may have upset him, address the issue proactively. A sincere apology (accompanied by a sorry gift for him) can go a long way. If he truly loves you, he’ll likely forgive.

2. Find the Alternatives

‘Sex’ means different things to different people, and everyone has their views on it. Consider trying other things together if your partner is uneasy about a certain aspect. Discuss various ideas, but always get their agreement.

If you feel like adding excitement to your intimate life, talk openly about it, but ensure everyone feels okay with the decisions made. Intimacy with a partner doesn’t have to involve sexual acts always. Exploring other ways can be just as fulfilling for a relationship.

You can rekindle the bond between you two by giving a personalized gift for your husband.

3. Talk To Him

Open conversation is key; you can’t solve the issue without talking. Choose a time when he’s in a good mood, express your concern about potential lack of attraction, and be ready with specific examples like changes in behavior, such as avoiding physical touch or not giving compliments.

4. Let Him Know That He’ll Always Be There With You

If you’ve noticed this, chances are they’ve noticed it too. They might be concerned about their low sex drive and trying to understand what’s happening. Your man may not have all the answers, and it could take time to figure things out. Let him know you’re there for him and that you’re in it together.

5. Consider counseling

If your relationship always has arguments, it could affect your desire for intimacy. Getting help from a couples’ counselor might be a good idea if the issues seem too much to handle alone.

In counseling, you’ll have a safe space to discuss your relationship problems with a trained counselor. They act as a neutral party, giving an objective and professional perspective to help you get things back on track.

6. Know when it’s time to leave

Often, issues in a relationship, like a drop in sexual desire, can be fixed with effort and communication. But if your partner’s lack of interest persists and it’s affecting your self-esteem, it’s important to consider whether this relationship is right for you. Don’t tolerate inappropriate behavior, like emotional abuse or infidelity, just because he’s not interested in you sexually.

7. Respect Your Husband’s Boundaries

Respecting your partner’s boundaries makes him comfortable in matters of intimacy. Remember that everyone is unique, and your preference may not be the same for them.

Have a conversation about their comfort levels and boundaries. Share your preferences so you understand each other’s likes and dislikes. Most importantly, ensure you both have each other’s consent for anything you do. Communication and mutual agreement are key.

Final Words From Loveable 

To wrap it up, figuring out the signs he doesn’t want you sexually can be tough, but it’s important to understand what’s going on in your relationship. Remember, this doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Sometimes, he might be dealing with his stuff, like stress or personal problems. 

The best thing to do is talk about it. Just have an honest chat about how you both feel. This can clear things up and help you decide what to do next. It’s all about respecting each other and understanding that every relationship is different. And don’t forget, you’re awesome no matter what, and your happiness and feelings matter greatly.